Kindness and Social Connection

Why be kind to others? Why even bother interacting with people in the first place?

Kindness is an interesting topic. Many of us know kindness when we see it, we can think of people in our lives who are kind, and actions that are generally a sign of kindness: Giving to charity, giving gifts and providing a sense of hospitality. The simple act of doing something nice. We know intuitively: ‘It is good to be kind’. We like people who are kind.

We can think of the lack thereof - Someone who isn’t kind. Generally, we know that this is a bad thing. These people are not so nice. We don’t like these people.

But is there something beyond this? Are we kind, simply to be ‘good’ or is there some intrinsic value to being kind?

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This week, I’m going to continue talking about boosting and maintaining your well-being. Today, I’m talking about kindness and social connection.

Why be Kind?

The Dalai Lama himself speaks of an altruistic attitude being the antidote to a self-centred attitude. He tells us that this self-centred attitude is the cause of modern-day anxiety and frustration.

The simple act of doing something nice for someone can boost our mood and increase our feelings of social connection. It makes us happier! Humans are social creatures so we can understand why this is an important feeling for us to have. On the other hand, a lack of social connection can be detrimental to your well-being.

Social connection stretches beyond just kindness. Talking to friends and family regularly is beneficial for our well-being. Particularly, making new social connections, as in talking to strangers, can significantly increase our mood.

How to be Kind

It’s as simple as doing something nice. In the words of Laurie Santos: “Try to do at least one random active kindness a day, it could be something big like donating money or volunteering in your community. Or it can be something small like giving somebody a compliment or just doing something nice.”

One thing I do is this: I try to compliment someone whenever I get the chance. It’s an excellent conversation starter and so it helps me talk to people more often. In my experience, this conversing with people in this pleasant way definitely gives me a warm feeling inside.

To get more social connection in your life, you must seek it out. Say ‘yes’ when a friend invites you to join them in a social event. It’s perhaps more proactive to reach out to people and organise your own social event. Even talking to people you share your space with is a great thing to do.

Your Turn!

Go out there and do something nice! It will make you feel better than you expect. Sometimes it may seem difficult and requires a little courage but it is well worth it! Also, make efforts to increase your social connection. You won’t regret it.

Like many things, kindness and social connection are both skills that you get better at the more you practice. Persevere and you’ll be proud of the person you become.

Notes

A lot of the information in this article is from an online course by Laurie R. Santos at Yale University. It’s called “The Science of Well-Being” and if you’re interested in what I’m talking about I would highly recommend you go check it out. It’s entirely free and full of value. Link here. If you’ve never taken an online course before and you’re doubting its efficacy, I’d compare it to reading a book except you have someone asking you questions along the way so that you actually remember what you’re reading. Give it a go, you won’t regret it!